"Giving up doesnt mean u r weak. It means dat u can 'let go' "
Today, i've finaly given up my 12 days struggle to win back her heart. 12 is a magical number for mi- at least in the past. Both our birthday falls on the 12th, as well as our first 'official' start, our first kiss. 12 days ago, i made a mistake. i made a terrible mistake. i asked for a break. i knew it was onli a moment of of anger at dat point of time, but she swallowed it alone. i didnt even wiped her tears dat nite. 5days later, i regreted. i knew this wasnt a game but i asked for a patch. till then, evything was too late. she had fall for another guy. i dun believe it at first but she confirmed it dat night. i was crushed. its hard not to be with the person u love, its even harder to see the person u love likes another HIM. after which i knew, he was the one encouraging her after i left her heart broken. she cried for 2hours dat night. he was the one who made her stand up strong. thanks fucker. i nearly gave up. it was til a day or two later dat i really felt dat i cant live without her. even my frens encouraged mi to 'win' her back. im up for dat mission. i tried to tok to her, buy cards. accompany to see doctor. all failed. the onli reason she gave was dat she wants to be single. even her frenz hates mi. im a terrible guy. idiot. asshole. yesterday, she suddenly asked mi to see firework today. im overjoyed. but this morning she told mi she is going wif her frenz, rather then mi. it was then i KNEW i had to give up. no use holding on anymore. she said she still got feelings for mi but SO WAD? she dun wan to be wif mi anymore. this i must understand. she even begged mi not to chance my number, saying i will onli be running away. her frenz cured her heart. i need time to heal mine. understand fucker? r u reading this??? i loved her alot, i must admit. i didnt treasure her the last time. she is a veri veri good girl, but i noe i must give up. yesterday toked to shermin..then i realised how much ive lost. during my operation days she went there EVERYDAY to see mi. thinking of it hurts mi even more.but past is past. people changes. she is still young. she needs to learn. even if she gets back to mi she will rather choose to go out with her frenz..not mi...so y bother? y not find another 'flower' who truly loves mi? it may be hard..but dats my target. to find someone BETTER. of cos, not too young cos 'young people dunno how to think'--shermin. (oops..sori). all well and good. ive threw away all the things she gave mi. IM DAT BAD OKEY! my blog is inflammatory...but i'll put down all the things i wan to say. tmr will be a new day for mi, for my heart. my heart for her died down today. but one thing i mus share with u all. follow ur heart, not wad ur frenz says.she listen to her frenz too much..but frenz cant support u a lifetime. u cant ask her third party to tell u whether to accept or reject. its all in ur heart. if they were truly good frenz, they should be the one telling u this, not mi. but how? all still so young...sec 3 onli..oso bo bian..but i hope she will learn dat the hard way. anyone her age can hav a relationship lasting nearly 2 years is a phenomenon achievement. finding dat sumone rite for mi takes time... till then, i'll now go find a person who can mend my broken heart...