It was midnight. The sky was pitched black. Placed at the side of the alley, there seemed to have no sign of life. Here I was, dumfounded and anguished. The once buzzing city transformed into a lifeless metropolis at the turned of midnight. Everyone was iced comfortably in their own nest. Me too, once privileged of having an owner who filled mi up with her life stories. Detailed in me her emotions, her traumas, her pains. Not the most exciting, but left a deep impact, a scar. I was the one she once dear. Not anymore. Left alone to a lonely place she thrown, I picked up my courage, with the help of a little airstreams, I opened myself. Pages of written stories hurt me like a thousand needles.

2004. I was lost. The place surrounded me seemed alien. Resting at the sidewalk, she found me. I was in a pathetic state. As grateful as a deer, I gave myself to her. With a pen, she treated me like her diary. I let her treat me as one. It was one happy moment. She was still young at that time. I was carried everywhere with her. Wherever she went, there was me. Like an additional eye to her, she chose to. My mood was rocket high. I never felt so contented in my life before. I finally feel like the I’m wanted. Wanted by someone seemed sincere. Fairytales do come true, at least that’s what I believe.

She treated me like a prince. Her prince. I didn’t think too much at that time. “I want my life” I kept saying. I took it for granted. She was there for me. Always there. She suffered at the back of my hand. I didn’t took it seriously, thinking things would remained. The things she bought for mi tells. Her heart was visible.

I scolded her. I shouted at her. I forced her to do things she don't like. That's how her feelings for me faded. Forever is just a word used in movies. I am possessive, I am selfish, I am wrong. So what’s the point saying all these now? All is lost. If I could turned back the time, I gladly would. And stay there still.

Like all stories, there’s always an ending. Good things don't last, the truth is there for me to take, for me to accept. I’m now just trying to grab whatever that is left. My gut feeling tells me there’s still a tinge to hope. A minor little chance. But my gut feelings always let me down. I will continue to change, change to the past. I need time.

Jianwen loves you. Hope u love him still.