This is my blog. so i get to write down everything i wan to write right? hope u understand dat.. cos i seriously dun care if anybody wan to read. even if nobody is reading, i dun care. i jus wan to pen down the scar on my heart. i dun wan to hide anymore. no rules yaa. of cos, i wont be idiot enough to touch on politics and religion. i wan a free life, instead of living behind the bars.

yes. its abt her again. i wanted to write this post jus for her but.. who cares now. see dat picture above? i like it veri much. this is one picture i can really relate to. the first time i saw this pic i was shocked. it was like love in first sight, like how candice fall in love with dat new kfc staff. i see myself in that picture. ok, i look like the skeleton but wad im trying to point out is the situation it is in. rain. thunder stomp. in a lone island. i gotten this pic the time i broke up with her. so, the first time i saw this i cried. ''heyy its showing abt mi!'' honestly, i felt veri lonely. even now im typing these, i felt alone. i hate this feeling. wad she did onli make it worst. tell u abt today...

yesterday, i asked her wad she having after sch. she said she will be going home and hav course later in the evening. somehow, she said dat she will not be going for the course and want to 'pei' (accompany) mi. like any idiot who believes, i was on cloud nine. happy. overjoyed.

i woke up this morning beaming from ear to ear. i dreamt abt mi going japan. dun tell u the details...later u get jealous. should be out with a fren but cancelled due to sickness. ok..i wil hav all the time in the world for myself. happi? erm...no, boring. i wait for her call at 2pm...nope, my phone aint ringing. nvmd...maybe she was buzy...so i continue to wait. 2.45......na bei i asked her to call mi last nite now didnt heard anything frm her...wa lan eh... cannot tahan le... i called her. "wait i call u, i got dai zi''. wow wow. ah lian ar. i asked her where she was she said at kallang settle things. haha sometimes u jus dun understand small kids. ok...i wait. i continue to wait.... 4pm...KNN CB CB CCB....i cannot wait le...rather go to die. i go play soccer. for my phone, i jus dump it somewhere. hope i cannot hear even if it rings. play, play, play. sian. i called her at around 7. no one picked up. i called her house phone. her sis told mi she was bathing. OKOK nvmd...when in contect liao, i asked her whether wann to go out, she told mi "ar...7pm liao le...like veri late." too bad lo..i mean.. if this was her fren asking she will jus go. really. ok. too late. then nevermind. i asked her wad time she reached home she said 6pm....jus now le?? playing basketball!!!! ok...i hav NUTHING against her playing with her frenz...but...but.. couldnt she even msg mi and tell mi??? WA LAN EH! i mean, i waited for her so long never reply she went to play basketball... i really dunno wad she treat mi as. really. if i msg her, she wont even care to reply. really. i had enough of her. she had hurt mi alot, alot. now, she dun even care abt mi anymore. no phone calls, no massages. nuting. this relationship wont last de. i truly understand now y. its not abt mi wanting to change to be a better person. its abt her. 9pm, after having my dinner at aju, i called her asking whether she wan to meet. u noe wad her excuse was? haven bath. i think i better go fuck the trees. lucky for mi, at least theres someone free for mi to tok to. everything has changed. no use looking back.

"it takes two hand to clap. but now u r taking one hand to TRY to clap. but its not fruitful at all."-- sand.

ok. understand le. so wad to do? theres nuting much i can do.

candice>> if u r reading this, im sorri. i didnt meant to 'shoot' u on my blog. hope u understand. i jus wan to point down the feelings dats within mi.. i noe im not good enough for u anymore, now dat u hav ppl u rather be with. but i hope if theres anything u can jus tel mi stright. dun hide anything. it hurts mi even more.