My mood is like this hot air balloon. seems high to people, but relatively low to its standard. i had an uneasy day. if i were to put my feelings in a chart, it will be totally mountainous. high and low.
When it was at its peak, i felt like beckham having another new-born.
When it was at its lowest, i felt like michael jackson kana sued again for molesting himself.

Woke up at 2pm. yes..., 2pm. dunno y i couldnt sleep last night..went all the way til 6 in the morning. woke up with lots of sent messages, but none yet to reply. wanted a new life whole heartedly, but my determination was fragile.
She wanted just to be friends. i told her i love her too much to treat her as one.
"then stead lor'' she replied.
"its either stead or friends"
This clearly showed her immature mindset.
wad i mean is, doesnt she noes jus how different being her boifren and her stead is? Sorry to say this but i felt dat she onli care abt herself. wad she wants, how she feels.
Before i continue, theres tis thing i wan to clarify. i said 'IMMATURE' AS IN she has this not-be-bothered attitude. stead or friends? of cos any ordinary people will choose the latter. i mean, imagine this conversation happening:
"its either stead or friends"--her
"ok i wan stead"--me
"ok lor"--her
HAHAHA this way, the relationship is as good as nuting. she wan a carefree life. she wan her own freedom. she wan to be with someone who makes her happy. i can do NOTHING of those.
i hurted her. i kept pestering her. i kept show her 'attitude' (as how she put it). i couldnt let go.
asked her to give mi a call when she's free. i waited from 10pm to 2am. u think she still care?

okok...went to play soccer with my friends..and yet again, i played like chicken little. i dunno y..no mood bahx.. til evening,..hold ur breath...i went out with her. yes, i did. went bugis and 'shop' with her. it was traumatic. my leg hurts. fall down while playing soccer--having bruises on one leg and injured another. ****ing hard to walk wearing jeans but tahan thruout. watched 'The Host' and yupp...good show it is. i'll give it 4 out of 5 stars as it really warmed my heart. it brings 'family love' to a whole new chapter. took last train home..and nearly step on a snail AGAIN (two dead so far). asked her to call mi and yupp..no call.

Heavy night for mi but im jolly well used to it. 3am. time to warm my bed.