someone please stop mii. i dunno wad im thinking. i dunno wad im feeling. now i'll stop TRYING to be sooo happi. i want to say wad i really wanted to say. this is my blog. i wanted to 'pretend' i was like veri happi everyday. as u can tell from my post these few days, i seemed to be in a lighthearted mood. dat will deprive the whole meaning of having a blog. actually, my heart hurts like hell.

What is happening to my life? time seemed to stop passing. im now jus trying to keep myself busy and pretending to be veri happi.. but fuck, i dun wish to fake anymore.

Im hurt.
Im fucking hurt.

Can anybody tell mi wad was i doing? tell u the truth, im damn fucking lonely. i wanted someone to care about mii, someone to feel about mii, someone to filled my heart. i was desperate. but time is telling mi something. i was wrong.

im in this state not becos i wanted to. its becos of all the fucking things ive done. call mi stupid. call mi idiot. but people do learnt from mistake, doesnt they? frankly specking, i hate my brain. i always interpret things wrongly. i hate my mind. i always think of things which jus wont happen. i hate my heart. i always feel for the wrong things.

I need someone to stop mii in all these nonsense. all this commotion im creating in my life is fucking painful. theres billions of people in this world. why cant i jus have one who can understand mi? im now really scared to be with someone too close. wad if i lose them one day? wad if im beatten to my old self?

im not posting this becos i want ppl to pity mii. im posting this becos i wan to tell the whole fucking world im damn fuckup with my life.

im boring to be with.
im selfish.
im possessive.
im lonely.
im thinking too much.

stop me please. i cant stop my tears.

sorri to all reader..im jus not myself...sorri.